Psyche! You thought I was going to post photos from Nik's weeklong trip to China, didn't you? No such luck. When I was little, mom and dad went on a trip. I vividly remember the souvenoir they brought me: a t-shirt that said, 'Mom and Dad went to the Bahamas and all I got was this stinkin' shirt.' Being little, I was pretty happy with the shirt regardless of what it claimed. Now, as an adult, I completely understand the sentiment of that verse. See, Sven and I saved for a year to send Nik to China for Fall Break. I was so excited for him to embark on this monumental trip that would nourish his soul and provide further insight into his sister's birth country that he would be able to share with her as she gets older. (Sorry, I'm having to stop typing because I'm laughing so hard......) Anyway, that's what I was thinking the months, weeks and days prior to his trip. What am I thinking now that's he returned? "What? You didn't bring me anything?! What do you mean you didn't know what I'd like?!" When I asked him where he bought a portable charger for his iPod, his response was: "at the silk market." My thought? "I like silk!" Oh, the irony. I was that little girl waiting for my gift and the only gift I got was a week's worth of dirty laundry! How's that for gratitude?! LOL.... (I'm laughing because it would do no good to cry now.....) He did bring Emalie a small souvenoir (emphasis on the word 'small'). I'm hoping he is mentally filing away stories and experiences I'd hope he'd come home with so he can share them with Emalie later. Because Lord knows, trying to get this kid to open up and tell us about his trip is like trying to crack open a vault! Pretty much all we've gotten out of him is this:
Q: "Did you have fun?" A: "Yes". Ok.....
Q: "Was it worth it?" A: "Yes." Ok......
Q: "So, can I see the pictures you took?" A: "Oh.....um.....I don't think I took any."
Q: "What do you mean you don't think you took any??" A: "Ok, I didn't take any."
Q: (Me, eyes wide, bewildered, on the verge of tears) "NONE?!" A: "None."
SIGH>>>>>> DEEP BREATHS>>>>> NO PHOTOS. Sadness. Crazy mom, I thought we agreed the iPod was to be used as a camera and not just for games. How did he rebound from this scene (the scene I was about to cause, that is)? "Mom, I was living in the moment." Really? A photographer's son learns well, I suppose. I can't argue with that logic. So, my big China post consists of THREE photos: the evening before Nik left, the morning Nik left and the afternoon he returned. Maybe one day the stories will emerge, but until then this is the only real piece of information that he's shared: "At the market, I ate a silk worm, a scorpion, a cricket and snake." Good grief. I don't even think I wanted to know that!! I think of all the dinners I cook, Nik tries, then gives me that "naaahhh" look (as in, 'yeah, I don't like this'). Really? You can eat all that but freak out when I serve tofu?! Sheesh.
I don't know now, nor may I ever know, if he received from this trip what we hoped he would learn. I guess I can only know what I learned from his trip: I love that little guy like crazy and I missed him more than I possibly could have imagined. I worried about him every second of the day and night. For 7 days, I constantly calculated the time change and envisioned what he was doing according to the itinerary. I realized that the day Nikolas is old enough to leave home will be one of the hardest days I will ever experience-- contrary to what I thought that day would be like. I learned that all those mothers who whine about their kids going away to college and how hard it is to adjust to being empty nesters may actually know what they are talking about. Maybe their children aren't perfect either, but that doesn't mean they love them any less or their absence is any easier. I heard my mother's voice in my head saying, "You will always worry about your children no matter how old they are." Sigh.....maybe I did get my money's worth out of this trip. Each and every day with our kids, no matter how hard, busy or crazy, is a blessing to be cherished. There are no guarantees about today, tomorrow or the future, so embrace the moment and the ones you love.
